Let’s go back to the beginning.

Mr Blondie and I had been together just 7 months by the time we’d decided we wanted a baby. It was April 2015. You’d think that was so early to be talking babies right? Nope! We were madly in love. Already moved in together after 2 months of being together. So you could say we had a theme of doing things quickly!

There’s one thing you should know about me. I am obsessed with the Next Directory online. I would sit there for hours looking at all the new baby clothes & nursery decor/furniture. Choosing carefully what theme I’d like and the clothes I’d want to buy as baby’s first outfit and so on! You’d of thought I was already pregnant. I had even picked out the pram I wanted, the Cosatto Giggle, which came in a variety of fun prints and colours. I just hadn’t decided whether I wanted it in pink or a  blue theme! That was my only problem back then!

So, back to the proper details. It was mid-April 2015. I remember taking my last pill (I was on Mercilon, the combined pill, for 9 years, in case you’re wondering) and shoved that pill packet (there was still two pouches remaining) in my bottom drawer, where all disused things go to die in my life. I was so pleased that this was it. My last ever pill. All I needed to do then was wait for my period and off we go! My first cycle! Oh, how excited and optimistic I was.

As far as I knew, my cycle went straight back to normal. I had my period and then around 2 weeks later, I started to experience tell tale ovulation cramps and different kind of Cervical Mucus which I’d not seen before. We quickly jumped in to bed and got down to the business! I had read a few things online about the most fertile days and how long you’d have to wait to do a pregnancy test, so I thought that was simple enough to follow.


Two weeks dragged on by and during that time I think I experienced every symptom under the sun. Cramping, bloatedness, nausea, headaches, sore breasts, mood swings, breakouts. I thought for sure we’d nailed it. I went out and bought myself an array of pregnancy tests, feeling pretty positive. This was the first time I actually felt excited and proud to buy a pregnancy test. Not those horrible, petrified, life-flashing-before-your-eyes thoughts you got when you’re 17-years-old doing a pregnancy test in a petrol station bathroom with your best friend!

However, the tests didn’t mirror my ‘positive’ feeling.

Negative test after negative test. I was crushed.

Let’s just say, the next seventeen months quickly passed by, with many more negative pregnancy tests and crushed dreams.

I will leave it there for now but, did any of you feel this way? Let me know your first ever cycle experiences!

Love & Baby Dust,

~ Blondie x




7 thoughts on “Let’s go back to the beginning.

  1. thesmallesta says:

    I stopped my pill in April 2015 too!!! Haven’t actually had a period naturally yet though 😦 But I hear ya on the testing being sure it will be positive only to get a snowy white test staring at you!!!


      • thesmallesta says:

        Yes i have pcos. Which just seems bizarre to me cos right up until aug 2014 i had regular periods that were natural as i had non hormonal birth control! Then I went on the pill and gained a shed load of weight and then 6 months later i quit the pill and they never returned!! It is so frustrating as between me and OH there is literally zero chance of anything happening 😦 x


      • blondiewantsababy says:

        Oh my gosh! That’s so bad. Maybe the hormonal pill really messed with your system which is why no period yet? I’m pretty sure there is something a doctor can give you to bring on your period, i’ve seen it quite a few times on babycentre. Hmm. It will happen hun you have to believe that, whether it’s natural or not! xx


      • thesmallesta says:

        I have had a brought on period now, i had a hsg test past month so they gave me tablets for it. But not that causes ovulation sadly. I mean i could try clomid but because i have a dd from a previous relationship we would have to pay and it seems a bit pointless with the really low count.
        Thanks though, i do believe…some days lol. Other days not so sure. It’s hard x


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