Back with my tail between my legs.

I thought giving up was easy.

It was until Mr Blondie starting talking about it all again after Christmas and reminding me how much I bloody love that man and how much I want to have a baby with him. He is going to be the most amazing father, ever. I just so want him to have that chance.

I wouldn’t say we are completely back on the TTC wagon, I don’t ever use OPKs or do temping anymore. I just know when I ovulate and I can’t just switch that off. I know my cycles like the back of my hand now so there’s no point in trying to ignore it – I think that would be more difficult than all of TTC put together! We are taking our vitamins (when we remember). I’ve even found a ‘fertility’ smoothie recipe on Pinterest that I gave a whirl on the weekend. Not that it’s necessarily me that needs it, but it all helps!

Realistically I don’t think anything will happen until Mr Blondie gives up those pesky cigarettes (or IVF, obviously)! We bought him an e-cig when we originally found out about the low sperm count which he did well on, but then within a few months he was back on the cigs, full time. It really grates on me because you’d think he would just try his best to stop given whats at stake, but he doesn’t. I understand he is under a lot of stress which makes it even harder I’m sure. He will have to give up before we start IVF anyway, no clinic will touch us if they know he’s still smoking, so he should just start now really!

This post certainly isn’t about bashing Mr Blondie, just that is the major thing that could be hampering his fertility and we don’t even know that for sure.

So as you can tell from this post so far, I’m certainly not over TTC yet and I don’t think I ever will be. I wish I could just give up, not care, get on with life. I’m sorry but I just care too much about this. We want our baby, it’s as simple as that.

Love & baby dust,

Blondie xo

 

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2 thoughts on “Back with my tail between my legs.

  1. thesmallesta says:

    We had maybe a month or 6 weeks where I barely even thought about ttc. Then over xmas and the new year I gradually started thinking more and now I am full on crazy again. This is awful!

    Do you guys not get ivf on the nhs? I thought you probably would?

    Like

    • blondiewantsababy says:

      Hey lovely, yeah we are eligible but we are relocating up north where the IVF allowances are a lot better, you get 3 goes rather than just 1 down here. We are moving there in August so we didn’t wanna start anything off here in case it messed with a potential referral up there. It’s really frustrating 😦 xxx

      Like

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