Since my last post I’ve been a bit quiet. Purely because I’ve been so busy with all of this! I can’t believe the dramatic turn around we’ve had in just 3 weeks!
The following Monday after I’d had my AMH bloods done the first time, I had a call from the nurse to ask me to come back in for a repeat test, as the consultant believed these results (was 3.3, too low for egg sharing and likely to have next to no eggs left, I needed a level above 5 to be considered) were incorrect, due to my age. I certainly wasn’t hopeful as I didn’t see how it could have been wrong, I just thought that was the cards I had been dealt. I was already learning to accept that I could be infertile.
I went in that Thursday to have them redone, I was a nervous wreck on the edge of a breakdown as I felt like I had a chance, a chance that the first test could have been wrong. But then I had a terrible thought that it could be even worse, where would that leave me?! I was glad my friend offered to come with me, she really helped to calm my nerves.
The following day I had a call at around lunchtime from one of the nurses, she told me the level had actually increased to 5.6! I couldn’t believe it. I thanked her profusely and just kept checking that it was okay. She booked Mr Blondie and I in for a consultation for 2 weeks time. Before I knew it, that time was here and we were on our way to London for a 3.5 hour appointment to discuss everything in detail, and to finally find out if I would be a suitable candidate to donate my eggs.
Firstly, Mr Blondie had to do a semen sample, bless him, I’d hate to have to do that on the spot, in a hospital! Not exactly the most erotic setting is it?! But then again, he gets off lightly, with all the stuff I will have to do! After this, we met with the consultant, who was absolutely as nice as pie. We went through my medical history, I was worried that my depression would have an adverse effect on me being an egg donor but as this isn’t a hereditary condition, he wasn’t too worried. I have been on medication for it since I was 18 and I have remained fairly stable throughout. I had one emotional breakdown in 2014 when I’d lost my job and just had a terrible time, but since then I have done a lot of work on myself to improve my state of mind and on the whole, I feel okay. Which I’m incredibly proud of. Depression is so hard.
We discussed the best course of treatment for Mr Blondie and I too. The consultant said our best chance of conceiving would be to do IVF with ICSI, due to Mr Blondie’s low sperm count, which we guessed would be the case anyway! Of course with egg sharing, you are provided with IVF treatment (including drugs, assessments etc) completely free (as I’m donating my eggs to someone who will effectively pay double usual IVF costs) but ICSI is considered an ‘extra’ so we will have a pay a fee for this, which I think considering the rest is free, is incredibly fair indeed. He concluded that he thought I’d be a great candidate for donating my eggs and he felt we’d have a good chance of IVF working first time, due to my age and Mr Blondie’s sperm actually being quite good, considering the low count!
After we met with the consultant we had a joint counselling session with a therapist, which was very insightful and helped us understand exactly what we’d be doing by donating my eggs and what it would mean for the future. Any child born to another woman using my eggs will have the right to request my name and contact information once they reach the age of 18, it is up to us whether we’d want to accept the contact, but I think being the people we are, we’d be quite open to whatever the child wanted to do or find out. Even if it was just some photos and a letter if they wanted to know more about their genetic background! I would absolutely respect that I am not their mother and I am not giving up my eggs for adoption, that just simply isn’t what it’s about. That child will be 100% their mothers and fathers child, nothing to do with me whatsoever. I know that the child would be loved so dearly, considering how far the parents would have had to go to get the child in the first place. I can identify with other infertile couples and know exactly the lengths I would go to as well if I couldn’t produce my own eggs. The therapist advised us to be open and honest with any child we may have, that they could have a half sibling (genetically speaking) out there, but it’s not that Mummy & Daddy gave away any brothers or sisters. We were just simply helping another Mummy & Daddy to become parents too. It apparently makes it easier for them to understand when they get older. Makes perfect sense to me, as I’d always want an open and honest relationship with our children and I’m sure the other parents would as well.
We would also have to deal with the fact that the other ladies IVF cycle with my eggs could be successful and mine may not be. This is a tough one. Right now I can say that I would probably cry a lot about it, but be happy that one of my eggs worked! That means we could be closer to a cycle working for ourselves. But at the time, I really don’t know how I’d feel. The clinic offers free counselling for Mr Blondie & I throughout the treatment so I think we will make very good use of that if we are struggling.
Following the counselling soon after, we were sent for a long chat with one of the IVF nurses, who took us through the entire IVF process, all the drugs, cycle synchronising, egg count etc. It was a lot of stuff for our brains to absorb. We had to sign some more forms about any eggs or embryos that were to be stored or used for research if not using them ourselves. The nurse then sent me to another nurse to have 6 ampules of blood taken, to check the Karyotype, chromosomal abnormalities and for any infectious diseases I could be a carrier of. The results will take 6-8 weeks and in that time we need a letter from my GP confirming all the medical history I told the consultant which should be no problem, Mr Blondie needs a blood test to check him for any diseases at our GP which then needs to be sent to the clinic and I think that’s about it! After that’s all done and dusted the clinic then just needs to find someone who’d like my eggs and we can start treatment!!!
I can’t believe we could be starting IVF in as little at 2/3 months! I’m trying not to get ahead of myself but I keep thinking what if it is successful? We could be parents by this time next year! My nerves are all over the place at the moment, I’m just trying to remain neutral about all of this. They say not to not think the worst but not to get your hopes up, so where in that bracket do I fit?!
Thank you so much for reading, I know it’s been a long one. I can’t wait to share my next journey with you all.
Love & baby dust,
~ Blondie xo