I’ve been mulling over the idea of writing something like this for a while, purely because I know I’ll probably ruffle some feathers. It’s not to offend anyone, just purely to express my feelings.
Like most 25 year old girls, I spend a lot of time scrolling through my social media feeds, be it Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. Whilst we have been struggling with infertility, this is perhaps to my detriment. I never really used to pay attention before but now it smacks me in the face every single time. Babies, children, babies, children, every where I go there they are. Seeing a friends cute baby photo is a stab to the gut every time. Don’t get me wrong, I love to see them, but not all the damn time. Especially on my darkest days.
Congratulations, your kid took a dump on the potty for the first time. We don’t need to know that. There’s a fun thing called texting and calling, a service still widely available on your telephone devices. Why can’t you use that to tell your nearest and dearest? Considering Facebook will still be around in years to come, I highly doubt your child will appreciate that for all and sundry to view, or read about. Oh, your child is at the hospital again for that cold they’ve got? We didn’t need to know that either. If your child is ill, look after them. If it was that bad, you wouldn’t be posting on Facebook either. Put down your damn phone. Let those that need to know, know. Sod the rest, what can they do about it?
That’s not the worst of it, no. Pregnancy announcements are by far the worst f*cking thing known to man. I open up Facebook and there it is, a digital image of a little head, body, arms and legs, possibly the best thing you could ever see, if it was your own. For me, this is literally like a stab to the gut again, but instead of one single stab it’s like numerous stabs in each of my organs one by one. Gruesome I know but that’s really how it makes me feel. That’s how infertility makes me feel. To know that there have been countless children born and maybe even siblings to boot since I’ve been TTC, is just hard. It’s really damn hard. I would never wish badly on any one of my friends with lovely babies and children, but I do think there is a limit of how much of your children you should share with social media. I know there will be those that would think “screw you, I’ll post what I want of my child”, that’s fine, chances are I’ve already unfollowed you, because it’s that excessive that I actually can’t bare to see it at all.
I just hope that reading this will make you think of your infertile friend, or the one that maybe has been trying for a while but maybe you haven’t spoken to them. They’d probably really appreciate a text informing them that you’re pregnant, just so they don’t have to find out with the rest. Trust me, that one hurts, wow does it hurt!
I just want to make it clear that this is in no way bashing my close friends who have children, I genuinely love seeing those photos. However, there are those that maybe I don’t know so well, or haven’t spoken to in years, who just constantly post photos and videos, but would be too awkward to delete from everything. It’s just not worth the drama.
Agree/disagree with me? Let me know in the comments!
Love & baby dust,